This…is a very odd feeling. I’m not sure if it’s placebo, the fluke of a good day coinciding with my first day on the medication, early-med euphoria, or just…the meds doing what they’re meant to do.

I woke up (slept past my alarm but that’s not the end of the world), did my eye mask, got out of bed, weighed-in (down 3.5 lbs from last week, that’s nice), put the kettle on, took my meds with a Boost High Protein, made tea, did my morning pages, affirmations, and task dump while drinking tea, then thought “I should shower” and…got in the shower.

Like. Just. Got undressed and turned on the water. Hopped right in.

This is not normal for me. It usually takes me all day to get myself in the shower because I’m convinced it’s boring and will take forever. I just…got in, though. And yeah, it was a long-ish shower, but I remembered the list I wrote in grease pencil on the shower wall and just…followed the steps. Easily. Some distraction in between, but what I think is probably a normal level? Like, a couple of minutes, not until the water gets cold.

I put gel in my hair after. Remembered deodorant and antiperspirant work best right out of the shower and put it on. Then cologne. Sat in front of the fan in my bathrobe to let my hair air-dry while eating some lemon skyr and reading Scientific American and…was ready to get up when the skyr was done. Mid-article. To get dressed and do chores. Boring ones. Laundry, taking out the trash, loading the dishwasher.

K came up then so I talked to him for a bit, but I still remembered I was going to do chores. When he went down to take his medication, I…got dressed (pants size down!) and did the chores. Like 45 minutes to an hour of them. Loaded the dishwasher, took out two rounds of recycling and a load of trash (would’ve done more, but it’s hot and my feet were starting to protest), hung up laundry, gathered and loaded more laundry, swept the bunny play area and gave them a new box of hay to chew up. Not a lot, but things that normally would’ve required intense effort and possibly wiped me out for the day, depending on how good or bad of a day it was.

I also…there’s this thing with ADHD where you see something that needs to be done but don’t automatically do it the way other people do. There has been toilet roll packaging on the floor of the downstairs bathroom for actual months, it drives me nuts every time I pass it, but for some reason I do not understand I never seem to pick it up and throw it in the trash even though I know I should.

Today, I picked up the packaging and threw it in the trash. And picked up a book off the floor and put it…ok, not where it goes because it doesn’t have a set home, but I put it somewhere that was not the floor.

I did the same with some old Amazon packaging that was on the floor in front of the kitchen. And paper towel packaging. I just saw it…and dealt with it.

And look, these are things I have always known I should do. Not doing them has always made me feel kind of like shit because they’re things everyone is supposed to be able to do. A five year old should be able to be taught to pick things up and put them in the trash, but I have never been able to and I know what that means people assume about me.

Today, though, I did them. And I’m not sure I can attribute that to just having a good day because I’ve had good days before and that’s still never happened.

I don’t feel wiped out, either. I did a fair few boring, tedious, will have to be repeated tomorrow type tasks and I feel…fine. Like I could do more. I may put the lights, bell, and cup-holder on my bike so I can go for a ride after picking up groceries. Or I may read or think through the next chapters of the fic I’ve been stalled on for months. I don’t feel like all I can do is read a vapid romance novel or play games on my phone. I have a bit of a headache, I’m reminding myself that I need to hydrate, but overall I feel pretty good.

I really hope this isn’t just medication euphoria. It would be nice to be able to feel like I can do things all the time.