Tiiiiiiiired

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No, but seriously, I desperately want a nap. I tried going up and down stairs a few times. I tried splashing cold water on my face. I tried sipping water and having a snack. Still fighting to keep my eyes opened.

I have been awake for barely 4 hours. I slept 7.5 last night. At reasonable times! I woke up feeling good!

Now all I want is to go back to bed. Ugh.

Debated lifting my blocks to play Sims, but I don’t actually want to play Sims. It’s just something that will keep me awake while requiring minimal thought or energy. May cave anyway, but I’d prefer it to be because I actually wanted to play the damned game.

Went on Instagram for largely the same reason. A comment I made a while back about a Hobonichi post is still picking up regular haters XD The parasocial relationships between individuals and the corporate social media accounts they follow will never not be weird and fascinating to me. I can at least kind of understand with a celebrity because that’s an actual person, even if you don’t know them the way you think you do. A stationery brand, though? How do you forget that every single post on their feed is tailored specifically to encourage you to buy their product?

In this case it’s especially amusing/irritating because the post was intentionally creating a false dichotomy between “perfectly decorated” and “real”, when the video showed a planner that was just as aesthetically pleasing as the sticker and washi-covered layouts that they usually post. It was aesthetic chaos, but it was very much intentionally visually pleasing. They didn’t post someone’s boring work planner with illegible scrawl and crossed out scribbles, all in pencil or basic black ink on the straight lines of the grid paper. They posted nice handwriting at artistic angles in multiple colours. Because the reality is that no one wants to look at what the average planner actually looks like, and they get more engagement (and therefore more views/free advertising) if they post something they know people will argue over. If I hadn’t been sleep deprived at the time, I wouldn’t have played into it.

Minor irritations of the moment

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  • I slept 7.5 hours but still want a nap right at this second (meanwhile Rise is telling me I should be at my peak morning energy lmao)
  • Trying to get back into daily routine but am realising that an 0830 wake time just does not work for the things I’d like to get done during the day
  • Too sleep deprived to consider shifting to an 0600 wake time so I’m left feeling irritable and unfocused
  • Would consider shifting free social media/gaming time, but know from experience that willpower crumbles after ~2000
  • Also just don’t really enjoy bike rides in the early evening? Too many people, prefer when everyone’s at work/school
  • Plus 15-1800 is typically the hottest part of the day as we head into summer
  • May switch time to 18-2000 rather than 16-1800 regardless, just to better structure free time until sleep schedule adjusts
  • This got away from me, no longer listing irritations XD
  • Would like to find an app that requires scanning different QRs at pre-set times
  • Suspect it would help with daily tasks ADHD struggles with

Starbucks remains the primary employer of the young and very gay

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And I’m all for it. People can criticise the franchise all they want—I’ll even probably agree—but at the end of the day they were one of the first safe employers for visibly queer people. They are still one of the few places where even in the middle of nowhere you will find visibly queer and accepting staff. There aren’t many places like that outside of gay bars—and not always even then.

Why do you hate happiness

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It smells great, an ocean floral, very light, very office friendly, but it is WEAK. Weak projection, doesnt last from the moment you spray. I doused myself and still it wasn’t that noticeable unless you were very close and sniffing intent fully. Bummer because it does smell good but I would like people to notice without sticking their nose to my wrist.

Why. Why would you want this. Why do you feel the need to ensure everyone in the world can smell you whether they want to or not.

Personal scents are an intimate item. If I can smell you from across the room, you’ve used too much. Frankly, even arm’s length is too far because when everyone in a crowded room or train car is wearing scents that can be smelled from arm’s length it quickly resembles a middle school locker room. (Axe and Bath & Body Works Green Apple still give me flashbacks.)

Wear scents so that you and your partner(s) can smell them, maybe the people right up next to you in a crowd. Otherwise, no one needs to know.

A bit at loose ends

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K has therapy at the moment so I can neither talk to him nor do anything that requires going downstairs. That means no bike ride or cleaning. I’m a bit bored but don’t want to get into writing when I know I’ll want to do something else in 45 minutes. A bit anxious about whatever was trying to be delivered downstairs because rent was taken from the account but I can’t guarantee it went to the right people. Should eat but don’t really want to when K will probably want food when he’s done with therapy. Can’t update journals because I don’t currently have access to any social media to see what all was going on at the time. Already ordered groceries. Could do some basic hygiene, but that’ll take maybe ten minutes and then I’m pretty well done. Basically just don’t quite know what to do with myself.

 

It is amazing how hard it is to get WordPress to show the full post instead of a read-more

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That used to be the default. Two to three columns, just a list of full-length posts down the middle one. Now it’s all intended to look like you’re scrolling The New Yorker.

I am not The New Yorker. I do not need an image on every post. I do not need my already short entries to be further truncated so I can fit 87 of them on one page. I want a basic, text-focused feed that isn’t trying to emulate a large business or sell a product. I am not a product.

The enshittification is real

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Fifteen years ago, you could install WordPress and have a functional blog with fully custom colours and headings, archive and category lists, and log-in links up in twenty minutes. For free.

Now I’ve got some asshole expecting me to pay $40 for the privilege of changing the colours on their bare-bones template. All because WordPress has made it harder to customise things than back when you used to have to do it by hand with HTML and CSS.

Absolutely ridiculous.