Tiiiiiiiired

No, but seriously, I desperately want a nap. I tried going up and down stairs a few times. I tried splashing cold water on my face. I tried sipping water and having a snack. Still fighting to keep my eyes opened.

I have been awake for barely 4 hours. I slept 7.5 last night. At reasonable times! I woke up feeling good!

Now all I want is to go back to bed. Ugh.

Debated lifting my blocks to play Sims, but I don’t actually want to play Sims. It’s just something that will keep me awake while requiring minimal thought or energy. May cave anyway, but I’d prefer it to be because I actually wanted to play the damned game.

Went on Instagram for largely the same reason. A comment I made a while back about a Hobonichi post is still picking up regular haters XD The parasocial relationships between individuals and the corporate social media accounts they follow will never not be weird and fascinating to me. I can at least kind of understand with a celebrity because that’s an actual person, even if you don’t know them the way you think you do. A stationery brand, though? How do you forget that every single post on their feed is tailored specifically to encourage you to buy their product?

In this case it’s especially amusing/irritating because the post was intentionally creating a false dichotomy between “perfectly decorated” and “real”, when the video showed a planner that was just as aesthetically pleasing as the sticker and washi-covered layouts that they usually post. It was aesthetic chaos, but it was very much intentionally visually pleasing. They didn’t post someone’s boring work planner with illegible scrawl and crossed out scribbles, all in pencil or basic black ink on the straight lines of the grid paper. They posted nice handwriting at artistic angles in multiple colours. Because the reality is that no one wants to look at what the average planner actually looks like, and they get more engagement (and therefore more views/free advertising) if they post something they know people will argue over. If I hadn’t been sleep deprived at the time, I wouldn’t have played into it.

Minor irritations of the moment

  • I slept 7.5 hours but still want a nap right at this second (meanwhile Rise is telling me I should be at my peak morning energy lmao)
  • Trying to get back into daily routine but am realising that an 0830 wake time just does not work for the things I’d like to get done during the day
  • Too sleep deprived to consider shifting to an 0600 wake time so I’m left feeling irritable and unfocused
  • Would consider shifting free social media/gaming time, but know from experience that willpower crumbles after ~2000
  • Also just don’t really enjoy bike rides in the early evening? Too many people, prefer when everyone’s at work/school
  • Plus 15-1800 is typically the hottest part of the day as we head into summer
  • May switch time to 18-2000 rather than 16-1800 regardless, just to better structure free time until sleep schedule adjusts
  • This got away from me, no longer listing irritations XD
  • Would like to find an app that requires scanning different QRs at pre-set times
  • Suspect it would help with daily tasks ADHD struggles with