I am feeling surprisingly good today. Hitting a bit of a sleepy moment, but given that I only got about six hours of sleep last night that’s not totally surprising. In terms of motivation, I feel quite good. Like I can actually tackle things. I even took out a couple rounds of trash and am thinking of maybe trying to write a bit.

I love when I get these moments. They’re not common, but they always feel a bit like magic. Like if I could just bottle this feeling I’d be ok. Because it’s not even necessarily that I want to take out trash or clear the vanity or write or anything else, it’s that I am aware that those things need to be done and it takes little to no effort to actually do them. I’m a bit scattered, yes, because I don’t have a focus for the energy, but I’m not just sucked into a constant hole of exhaustion and feeling like every tiny task is overwhelming.

I don’t think I’ve ever in my life had this feeling for more than a day or two at a time, but it’s lovely when it does happen. And it makes me wonder if maybe this is what most people feel like all the time? And maybe I should see about medication or something so I can feel like this more days than I do? But I’ve never not had ADHD or depression, so I don’t know if I’m just assuming other people are managing better than they actually are. And I honestly don’t know what to write or say if I do ask about changing my medication. “Hi, it was easy for me to take out the trash today and I was wondering if maybe there’s something that would make it easy to take out the trash every day”? It sounds ridiculous.

But also…it’d be really nice to feel like this every day. Or even, like, 70% of the days.